La Hacienda

The Process of Recovery

While reading an article this morning in Alcoholism and Drug Abuse
Weekly I came across this comment - “… recovery is a process of coming
to terms with one’s illness rather than the elimination of its
symptoms.” I immediately thought that’s what the 12 Steps gives us - a
process of coming to terms with our illness. Through working the steps
we come to understand our powerlessness and the unmanageability
addiction has brought to our lives and we gain the tools to deal with
life on life’s terms. Many of us have spent years trying to eliminate
the symptoms, but it’s not until we come to terms with our illness that
we can hope to truly recover.

-Sherri Layton

(Source: lahacienda.com)

Imperfection

(Source: lahacienda.com)

It’s the little things….

“So, I walked into a convenience store for a Coke and I walked out with a six pack.  It came out of nowhere!!”

Unfortunately, a relapse starts way before that.  It begins with the little things.  The story below is about an experience I had recently.  Now, you are probably going to be like, really?  That’s a silly story to tell! It’s not THAT big of a deal! Or how does that relate to the obsession to use?  Well, I will tell you! If I start lying about the little things and justifying that behavior, all it’s going to do is perpetuate itself.  So what is the good news??  Well, we can use these little signs to get back to doing what we need to do.

I had been talking to a man that owns a successful recovery website.  We were going back and forth about what they were doing and how La Hacienda might participate.  One particular day he told me about an online event they were having and asked if I would participate.  Of course I would; how exciting!  So the day and time came and I chose to do something else.

The next morning at around 7am he emailed me and asked if I enjoyed it and this is where my little monkey mind got to work.

“Can he really tell if I was on a web meeting?  What if I tell him it was great and then he asks me a specific question about it?  Maybe I can see if a copy of it was posted in an archive on his site?  Gosh, he is emailing me first thing in the morning; I guess he really values my input. How can I let him down?  There is no way he can tell…but he could…but how…it’s just a little lie…”  Round and round I go, until… “you know, a relapse starts with the little things.”

So, what did I do?   “In an effort to avoid making amends to you later, I have to say that I wasn’t there.  I apologize because I think it is important to be where you say you are going to be.”  He told me it was no big deal—I can always catch the next one!!

So, it ended with a clear conscience and awareness that doing the next right thing isn’t so bad after all!

(Source: lahacienda.com)

Come Back

Part of my experience in being sober has been watching people make it back in to the rooms of Recovery.  Often what I hear them say are things like this:

I am sorry I disappointed you all

I was scared to come back

I thought everyone would be mad at me

I was just too afraid to come back after so many times

I was afraid of what others would say/think about me

And on and on…

This and all the other excuses, judgments, and internal condemnations are nothing more than false pride.

I would like to set the record straight.

I have not once been angry with anyone who has been able to make it back into the rooms of Recovery.

Just the opposite. I am relieved beyond measure and grateful to see them still alive.

I know some people get cranky but I see that as their stuff, their inability to separate the person from the disease or lack of experience with empathy. It is their Spiritual Challenge.

Don’t let anyone or anything keep you from coming back into Recovery.

The Doors are all unlocked; we are here for you, waiting to help you get back up on your Spiritual Feet.

Come Home to where you belong, where you are wanted and needed.

We stand in the Sunlight of the Spirit waiting, The Fellowship of the Spirit is here for you.

Come back and make it soon.

CBS

12/23/11

(Source: lahacienda.com)

N.A. Message from Dwayne

What Is the Narcotics Anonymous Program?

p.10

Surviving against all odds, we are addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. We respond to honest sharing and listen to the stories of our members for the message of recovery. We realize that there is hope for us at last.

Narcotics Anonymous has many years of experience with literally hundreds of thousands of addicts. This firsthand experience in all phases of illness and recovery is of unparalleled, therapeutic value. We are here to share freely with any addict who wants to recover. Our message of recovery is based on our experience.

After coming to NA, we found ourselves among a very special group of people who have suffered like us and found recovery. In their experiences, freely shared, we found hope for ourselves. If the program worked for them, it would work for us.

“When I first stepped into the rooms of NA, the first thing to hold my attention was the identification. I heard people talking about where I came from and what I had done. It wasn’t until I had been clean for a while that that identification became one of Feelings. These people had titles for what I had been feeling but could not explain properly. After I began to work The Steps, that identification turned into Hope. If they had done what I had done and came from where I came then maybe, just maybe it could work for me.

Now that I am living this new way of life to the best of my ability, that identification (Hope) has blossomed to include people that didn’t come from where I came, and didn’t do exactly what I did. However, the one ingredient that has been constant is the Feelings”.

Can’t get enough of The Store

Ok, I know every week I have posted something from the store but there is so much fun stuff in there!  Check out these totes!  

I also love the words of wisdom to hang on the walls.

“Dance to the beat of your angel wings.”

I used to have sticky notes all over my walls.  There were affirmations, reminders to pray and loving words.  The girlie girl in me had them in all different colors.  It helped me stay in the solution and be positive.

Try it, I dare ya! :)

This time next week….

Reunion is almost here!  I can already feel the power of recovery!  I can’t wait to sit on the lawn while listening to great speakers, getting together Saturday night for the alumni parties and then the Sunday morning meditation on Serenity Hill.  This weekend is always a small booster shot to my recovery and a way to connect to where it all began.  Check out the schedule here or scan the tag below.

Don’t forget, follow me on Twitter with the hashtag #lahareunion.