It’s the little things….
“So, I walked into a convenience store for a Coke and I walked out with a six pack. It came out of nowhere!!” Unfortunately, a relapse starts way before that. It begins with the little things. The story below is about an experience I had recently. Now, you are probably going to be like, really? That’s a silly story to tell! It’s not THAT big of a deal! Or how does that relate to the obsession to use? Well, I will tell you! If I start lying about the little things and justifying that behavior, all it’s going to do is perpetuate itself. So what is the good news?? Well, we can use these little signs to get back to doing what we need to do. I had been talking to a man that owns a successful recovery website. We were going back and forth about what they were doing and how La Hacienda might participate. One particular day he told me about an online event they were having and asked if I would participate. Of course I would; how exciting! So the day and time came and I chose to do something else. The next morning at around 7am he emailed me and asked if I enjoyed it and this is where my little monkey mind got to work. “Can he really tell if I was on a web meeting? What if I tell him it was great and then he asks me a specific question about it? Maybe I can see if a copy of it was posted in an archive on his site? Gosh, he is emailing me first thing in the morning; I guess he really values my input. How can I let him down? There is no way he can tell…but he could…but how…it’s just a little lie…” Round and round I go, until… “you know, a relapse starts with the little things.” So, what did I do? “In an effort to avoid making amends to you later, I have to say that I wasn’t there. I apologize because I think it is important to be where you say you are going to be.” He told me it was no big deal—I can always catch the next one!! So, it ended with a clear conscience and awareness that doing the next right thing isn’t so bad after all!
(Source: lahacienda.com)
